The child who is carrying the dream of parents is actually very bitter inside

A few days ago, I saw a video when I brushed Weibo, which made people laugh.

The son went to the spring tour, and the mother bought the snack schoolbag that I wanted to dream when I was a kid. I thought the son would be very happy. Unexpectedly, the child not only missed the style of the schoolbag, but also threatened to take the schoolbag secretly when the mother did not pay attention.Lose.

Looking at the child’s eyes obliquely, a pair of reluctance to be pitiful, it was really angry and funny.When parents buy things for their children, they should ask their children’s thoughts. How can they impose their wishes to their children.

No wonder some netizens said with a need to say: It was your dream when you were a kid, but not the child’s dream.

A snack schoolbag reflects the problem of family education.

In life, there are actually many such mothers.

Many parents are habitually imposed on their children’s dreams:

When he was a child, he couldn’t learn the piano mother, and his father who could not play football in his childhood. They often joined their dreams that they could not realize during the growth of their children and let their children dream for themselves.

As everyone knows, this is not only a heavy burden for children, but also prone to lack of opinion when growing up. They don’t know what they want, and they will even become inferior and depressed, and become the most lonely person in the world.

Cai Kangyong once said:

For children, what is the most precious thing for children?It is a ideal environment, not a person we want him to become.

Fundamentally, it is to treat the child as a soul, that is, an individual with thought, personality, and independent personality, not a "puppet" controlled by his parents.

Children should have become himself.

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The child who is carrying the dream of parents is actually very bitter inside

In "Super Speaker", the player Huang Siwei had given a speech "Heir who does not dream" and touched many people.

At the age of five, Huang Siwei began to contact table tennis. At the age of six, he entered the sports school for professional training. All this was to complete his father’s dream of table tennis when he was young.

However, the young Huang Siwei did not like to play table tennis. After leaving home, he felt lonely and lonely. He hid in tears every day, and even thought that he would escape from the physical school …

Every time his father came to see him, he begged his father to take him back, but his father did not agree.Until one day his mother came, he was almost on the verge of collapse, and said to his mother, "I really don’t want to live, I want to go home, I don’t want to practice table tennis anymore." Parents realized the seriousness of the problem, and put it.He brought home.

When Lu Xun mentioned raising, he once said: "Kaizong first is understanding."The child’s world is very different from an adult. If you do n’t understand it first and do it, it will hurt the child and it is easy to go astray.

As Huang Siwei said in his speech:

Many parents will impose their unfinished dreams to their children. They feel that this is good for children, but they just forget that there is a dream that cannot be realized, because it is not my dream.

Huang Siwei was lucky. His parents finally gave up the regrets of their lives to the children, but in life, many children crying in the shadow of the pity of the parents’ life.

One of my relatives, I liked finance since I was a child, and forced my son to learn finance. After graduating from college, he introduced his son to the financial company for sales. He hoped that his son would be out of place to realize his dream that he could not realize.

But this son does not like finance, but is very talented in language.He was fluent in English, and also learned Spanish, Italian, and has always dreamed of being a diplomat, but every time he proposed to resist, he would be rejected by his father and deducted him with a "filial piety" hat.

Helplessly, the son can only force himself to go to work in the financial company, but the mood of work is heavier than the grave. He can see that he wrote in WeChat almost every day and exposure to the medicine for insomnia.Recently, his content is "I feel that life is really interesting …"

I can’t imagine what the child has experienced in the past few years?If parents really understand his spiritual depression and suffer life and work, will he still adhere to his original choice?

Psychologists say that loving children is an instinct, and respect for children is a kind of education. If there is no education, love will lose meaning.

Children need love and care, and they need to be respected and seen.

The true love of parents is not to keep their children carrying their dreams, but to let the children really feel the world.

This is the best gift for life to live in the moment.

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The respected life is the best gift for parents to give their children

Some time ago, Chen Kun exposed a birthday blessing letter written on Weibo on Weibo, which caused heated discussion among netizens.

In this birthday message, Chen Kun not only called his son "sir", but also like a friend. He communicated with him in the letter. The final payment was: love you and respect your father.

Many netizens praised Chen Kun, saying that this is the best way to get along with parents and children.In fact, as the Chinese ambassador to the United Nations Children’s Foundation, Chen Kun did have always used his own behavior to fulfill his words written at the time:

"I hope that every child’s parents can listen to the children’s inner voice and respect the children’s opinions."

However, no one is born to be a father. Chen Kun gradually realized the true meaning of education from the course of bringing a baby for more than ten years.

Chen Kun said that he often played "you are dad, I am a son" with his son, in order to enter the child’s inner world.

Once, his son asked Chen Kun to play the piano in the game.Chen Kun did it according to his son’s requirements, but after a period of time, he felt tired, so he begged his son to stop himself.

But the son did not allow it, but said in the adult’s tone: "You can’t do it, the music dream that Dad did not complete when he was a child, you have to help your father to complete!"

In this tone, this tone felt so familiar … Chen Kun suddenly shocked in his heart. He kept asking how he could speak such words and asked his children to do what he didn’t like.

That is, from that moment, Chen Kun began to reflect on himself, continuously improved his educational method, and chose to respect his son’s most authentic thoughts.

What is the essence of education?

It is inspiration, identity, understanding and listening, the cultivation of children’s personality cultivation and caring for physical and mental, not transformed into what you want.

Italian early childhood education expert Montessori once said that as soon as each child was born, there was a mental embryo.No matter how his parents "transform", he eventually wanted to be himself.

Do not force your child to do anything, and do not impose your dreams for your child, and let your child be a unique self. This is the best gift for parents to give their children.

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The former Soviet educator Crupuskaya said good: "For parents, family education is first of all self -education."

In other words, raising children is also cultivating yourself.Parents should not be able to control and instill their children, but discover their own problems in the process of accompanying their children, and make changes in time and grow up.

允 Put down the obsession and allow children to become an ordinary person

There was a long picture on Weibo that was very hot. It was a speech in a TV show in South Korea:

It is recommended that mothers let go of some obsession with their children. Instead of waiting for children in elementary school for ten or eight years, they must be admitted to famous universities. It is better to go to the test faster. Anyway, you have learned a foundation once.

If you feel that you are not this material, why should you be imposed on the child?

Blindly forcing them to do what they did not do, and even imposing their dreams on the child, the occupation of children’s life.

The correct approach of parents is to respect the boundaries, keep humble in front of the child, and tell the child:

I don’t know how to live a success and happiness, but I believe you can listen to your inner voice, respect your feelings, and become yourself.

The prerequisite for education is to respect the inner needs of children

In one issue of "The Boy Talk", a girl named Yan Jiayu said on the courage was particularly distressing:

"I want to learn to paint, but my dad does not support it. Dad is seen by Dad in the summer vacation. I directly tear my favorite painting book and burn my copy book."

"Dad, my biggest dream is to paint, please give me a chance to learn to draw painting?"

Education expert Sun Yunxiao once said:

The prerequisite for educating children is to understand children and the prerequisite for children.

The real love is to make the child getting better and better. If you love the child’s heart more and more depressed, then the parents must reflect on their education methods.

Only by respecting the child’s inner needs and being able to guide and affirm the child’s different growth stage can the child’s unlimited potential.

, Don’t pass the anxiety to your children for your own face

Recently, the Hong Kong documentary "No starting line" was screened in the circle of friends.

The documentary tells a group of anxious mothers on the starting line for the children. Not only did the children take the children’s interest class, tuition classes, but even for unborn children, they also put forward the idea of winning in the uterus, even when conceived, when to conceive, when will conception, when will she be conceived?When it was born, it has made accurate calculations, which can be described as the same.

However, is this the result of the children they want?

At the end of the documentary, a lady boldly expressed her opinion. She felt that everyone had such a great pressure on the starting line of the child. In the final analysis, her mother was just for her face.

In the final analysis, parents add expectations to their children, but they are actually passing on their anxiety, but they just want to impose their unfinished dreams on their children.

But we just ignored that life is a long -distance running rather than a sprint. There will be different starting lines at any time. Real successful life needs perseverance and endurance, as well as a strong heart.

As a parent, we often say that raising children and not seeking wealth and nobleness. I just hope that he is happy for a lifetime.

I feel right in a word in Huang Zhizhong, that is: "At the moment of life, you will always keep as much as possible."

Smart parents know how to let their children discover the world with their eyes and live the life they want. No matter how beautiful their parents think they are, they cannot become a rope for children.

Because of this, children will stand in the place where they are facing light and live as the happiness they want.

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